I would like to introduce myself and say that I am looking forward to sharing the swinging lifestyle with you in a regular, semi-monthly swingers column. My name is Lady Suzanne (long story there) and I live in Colorado. My husband and I may not be what most people think of when they think of swingers. We have 7 kids and 7 grandchildren, and we've been swinging for 8 years -- it just gets better and better. For the past for 6 years, we have owned an off-premise swing club in Colorado called the Rocky Mountain Connections Social Club (RMCSC), which meets in Denver every other Saturday (and about 5 times a year in Ft Collins). For anyone who is "swinger-curious," I highly recommend attending similar swinger social events in your local area -- if you can find them. You can start by checking your local group listing for swingers -- we are everywhere! Parties like ours are usually no-pressure and you can learn sooo much about the lifestyle (not to mention meet great people!) in a truly social environment.
For example, our sexually charged atmosphere allows people to explore their fantasies. Some people who attend are experienced swingers, others are simply curious about the lifestyle; there are even people who just want a place to let their hair down on the dance floor in an atmosphere that feels both erotic and non-judgemental. Basically, it's the people who enjoy our freely sensual environment who make socials like ours the exciting places they are to meet, mix and mingle with like-minded people.
My husband and I work to ensure our parties are classy and sensual, never intimidating or threatening. We let new members know that we are available for their questions and concerns so we have a chance to maintain an atmosphere comfortable to all.
What kinds of activities can you expect at one of these socials? Well our club, for instance, provides a friendly, upbeat lounge atmosphere with a cash bar and professional DJs perfect for dancing, socializing and getting to know others. We also offer free couples orientation at 8pm before each party. In fact, if you're ever in the Denver area, we offer a special to Adult FriendFinder members: Anyone who brings their Adult FriendFinder profile gets $10 off the membership fee. We'd love to have you check us out anytime. We are open to couples and singles; however single men need to follow a different process (described on our web site) to get in.
On this point I should probably say a few words, since almost every swingers club you come across will have policies similar to ours regarding single men. Why is it that single men have more trouble getting into a club than single ladies? In a way it seems unfair or exclusive, but reading through adult site forums or swingers' blogs may offer some insight into the question because there are always threads on forums about single men. For now, let's just say they have a bad reputation. On the other hand, my husband and I have enjoyed single male play for a lot of years and I will be covering that issue real soon in my column. Fact is, if men just follow a few simple strategies, they will find themselves welcomed, thriving, and having the time of their lives in their local swingers community -- so men, watch for that upcoming column. In it, I will help you have the kind of success you're hoping for in the swinging lifestyle!
I would also like to take this moment to tell you about the Windy Clitty awards (OK, and to brag just a bit!). They are like the Oscars for the Lifestyle (that is, the swingers world). In the fall of each year, the French Connection, a group that hosts several conventions a year, holds the voting for the best of the best in the Lifestyle. They vote for best clubs, best DJs, best conventions, best retailers and so on, and they announce winners and give out the awards at the New Orleans in November convention. (In my column you will probably be hearing more about these well-known swingers events as they come up). New Orleans in November is a ton of fun and very exciting.
NOTE: AFF has been nominated, so go vote for them for the Best Web Site!
[extern url='http://frenchconnectionevents.com/windy_clitty.php' target='_blank' text='Windy Clitty Awards' width='480' height='60' border='0']
Anyway, I'm proud to say that our swingers club, RMCSC, has won the Windy Clitty award for Best Hotel Social for 4 years! Ta da.
When I speak at swinging conventions, I talk about things like what to expect, who to talk to and how to say no; about self esteem and body image (women getting into the scene often have issues with this), and how to romance another couple. Because I love to help people make smooth transition into the swinger scene, you may see my articles in the Rocky Mountain Oyster, in several swinger magazines, and even in the upcoming Swingers Workshop in the AFF Sex Academy, which I hope many of you will check out. And no, when I was getting my education in human behavior, no one told me about a job like this on career day!
I believe the more information a couple and singles have before entering the swinging world, the more successful they will be. They'll face fewer hurdles and be better able to asses the negative or positive impact of swinging on their lives -- which, as I always remind people, depends on their level of honesty to themselves and their partners.
For example, one night at my club, I spent 30 minutes in the bathroom with a lady who was told by her partner they were coming to a comedy club. When she discovered where she was, she was devastated. Seeing a woman out in the open sucking her partner's dick was deplorable and embarrassing to my new friend. This kind of trick-or-treat is a lifestyle no-no. In upcoming columns, I will share experiences like this as well, maintaining a balance between how the lifestyle can be unsettling and negative and how it can be very positive and even practical.For me, personally, it has been exciting to watch shy ladies become the biggest exhibitionists and to watch couples become closer in their relationships. Some time ago, a lady we will call June always came to our parties wearing slacks and a turtle neck sweater. June was cute, and sexually excited, but as you can guess, shy about her body. Over the years it has been wonderful to watch June change from slacks to see-through dresses! She now knows she is sexy, enjoys showing her sexy self and her husband beams each time she gets an outfit for a party.
You will find that the world is always curious about what we swingers do. One time, we hosted one of our parties next to a wedding. They had music and food just like us. During the night the groom showed up at our party 3 times. By the third time I told him he will be divorced by morning if he shows up again, unless he brings his lovely bride with him.
Over the years I have witnessed young and old couples enjoy swinging for the first time. I have helped men get involved in threesomes and have encouraged spontaneous orgies and girl beds. I have talked with distraught couples who were startled by running into someone they knew (sometimes it was family), and have talked with couples about jealousy and rules.One evening, May (I will always invent names for real people to ensure their privacy) was very upset because her husband had broken the rules. He had left her alone in one room to go off and play with others in a separate room. This can be a traumatic thing. Each couple plays in a way that they feel comfortable and safe. During the passion and heat of the evening sometimes we forget those rules. When that happens there is some healing that must take place. With good communication most issues can be worked out and the couples can continue on to enjoy the parties, the people and the play.
Lifestylers are often very happy couples compared to their monogamous counterparts, and one reason for the happiness may be that swinging is an activity couples do together. Though success in the lifestyle is dependent upon solid, trusting and honest communication between both partners, once that is in place, swinging enriches the primary relationship especially in the erotic sector.
One thing you may have already noticed is that eroticsouls.com has a thriving swingers community. And the site has asked me to be here to provide tips and ideas valuable to swingers as well as to help the many swinger-curious folks to get in on the fun! Do you have issues about your confidence or wonder if you will be liked by the Lifestyle community? When my husband and I started, I was sure I was setting myself up for rejection. In my 50's with grandchildren, I am far from a size 6. I figured no one would find me stimulating or sexual. The truth is, though surely not everyone will find me exciting, there are always those who do.
Whether you're swinging now, or just curious, feel free to write to me in the comment section below. Ask me the questions you find it difficult to resolve, or difficult to ask anyone else. Do you wonder who to talk to about getting started or how to say no? Do you wonder if your fetishes are too weird or if you'll be asked to do something you find unpleasant? Do you want to talk about how to make your partner feel at ease or how to make sure you are comfortable? No, swinging is not for everyone. What we do as swingers is safe, sane and consensual, but the fact is, if we went through puberty, we probably have issues. Some of us may simply have too many hang-ups to make the swinging lifestyle work -- moral objections, religious issues or our own insecurities. There are questions couples should be asking themselves and each other to see if swinging is for them. Ask away.
After truly enjoying the swingers lifestyle for the past 8 years, I have heard it all. So let me hear from you, I'll be reading the comments section looking for your questions. Let's make this a great place to be educated, explore our fantasies, and meet terrific swingers!
Check out the Rocky Mountain Connections Social Club web site:
www.rmcsc.com
Post a question for Lady Suzanne:
