40Deuce 40 / M
"From far enough away I look decent"
Urbandale, Iowa, United States
 
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Member Since: December 25, 2005

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Status
40Deuce 40/M
Urbandale, Iowa
Busy bein' delicious
Introduction
Please note I am a willing participant in a secret experiment in human happiness .

When I was a kid one time I was playing baseball and I got walked so I took my base . I'm standing there on 1st and after a moment I realize that the pitcher is just standing there on the mound holding the ball , hand on hip , looking at me . Just looking at me . And I wonder "What's this guy's problem ?" And he just keeps eyeballing me . And I realize - does this dude think I'm going to try and steal second ? On a walk ? What the hell ?

But he just keeps staring at me so eventually I think "Alright buddy you want to get nuts ? Let's get nuts !" So I take off for second while he's looking right at me . It's like he was daring me to do it . He has me dead to rights , all he has to do is toss the ball to second and I'm out by a mile . But when I make my move his eyes get all wide like a cartoon wolf seeing a sexy lady and he panics - he sails the ball over the second baseman's head . I'm heading into second free as a bird and I peek into the outfield .

There's some kind of confusion out there and nobody has the ball . So I think "To hell with it , I'm going for third !" and around the corner I come . As I'm heading to third the base coach there is losing his god damn mind - he's waving for me to head home like a frightened babysitter trying to swat a bat with a tennis racket .

The crowd is going insane . They're about to see a home run on walk . This is something that has NEVER happened in the 230 year history of baseball on any level . No the pros , not the minor leagues , not college , this has never happened ever . I am going to be on Sportscenter . SI is going to interview me . This is going to be the moment .

I've got my head down and my arms chugging and I'm pumping my crazy legs like there's a mutant bear after me . The throw comes in from center field like a rocket - that dude chucked that thing like a protestor throwing a rock at the G8 summit . It came in on a rope and the catcher was right there . I slide , there's a play at the plate and I beat the tag !

PAN-DE-MONIUM . People are screaming and high fiving and almost falling out of their acid wash shorts .

It's at this point that the umpire informs me that that was only ball 3 . The reason the pitcher was staring at me is because I should not have been there . So I have to get back up to bat with two strikes and immediately strike out on the next pitch .

That incident is me in a nutshell . Although I learned a valuable lesson , if you're gonna go , you go all the way - maybe you're wrong and maybe you're right but it'll be exciting either way.

PS I am not exciting

My Ideal Person A lot of people on there like to say that they're looking for a partner in crime . When I say that I mean it literally - I need someone to watch my back while I do some robberies . You need to be handy with a pistol grip pump and not be a pistol grip chump .

Seriously though I don't really know what I'm looking for . Some people would say that if you don't know what you want you won't end up with anything . But I already have stuff so they can bite it .

I'll say this . Go to YouTube and search for "Paul F Thompkins peanut brittle" and listen to that bit . If you don't find it at least a little bit funny there's no chance . Unless you just want to bang , which you don't .

Also check this out . If you brag about not watching TV there's no way . Unless you just want to bang , which you don't . I don't care if you DON'T watch a lot of TV but if you brag about it you're not my kind of people . Also you're probably lying because the people I know who actually don't watch a lot of TV don't talk about it all the time .

Speaking with lying a lot of people on there say how much they value honesty . I'm okay with lying with the right context . Like if you're lying to get away with some kind of shenanigan that's dumb . If you say you have to work late when really you're banging some other dude that's a waste of everyone's time . Just tell me you're banging some other dude and I'll be like "Oh you're banging other dudes ? Make sure he's wears a rubber you know ?" and then we'll high five and point fingerguns at each other .

But here's an example of a good lie . I ask you if you want to go to the Cheesecake Factory on Sunday night and you don't want to because you're going to visit your grandma that night . But you know if you tell me that I'll want to come along and that won't go well because your grandma is super racist . But you don't want to say that because it will turn into a whole "thing" with me . In that case it's fine if you lie and say "I can't Sunday because I have a bad rash on my tits" . And I'll be like "oh man , get better soon" .

And it's all cool you know ?

What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
They Might Be Giants , Beastie Boys , Beck

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Rimming

What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
Sexual experience, Willingness to freely discuss and try anything

Have you ever had cybersex?:
No way. I only want skin on skin.

View more of 40Deuce's responses

Information
  • 40 / male
  • Urbandale, Iowa, United States
Sexual Orientation:
Straight
Looking For:  Women
Birthdate: August 4, 1977
Relocate?: No
Marital Status: Single
Height: 6 ft 0 in / 182-185 cm
Body Type: Ample
Smoking: I'm a non-smoker
Drinking: I don't drink at all
Drugs: I don't use drugs
Education: BA/BS (4 years college)
Occupation: Office drone
Race: Caucasian
Religion: Protestant
Have Children: No
Want Children: No
Male Endowment: Average/Average
Circumcised: Yes
Speaks: English
Hair Color: Brown
Hair Length: Shaved
Eye Color: Brown
Glasses or Contacts: None
My Trophy Case: